True Friends Don't Try to Control You!

True friends don't try to control you—they help you be what God wants you to be. Put your faith in God, and ask Him to give you friends who are truly right for you.  --Joyce Meyer


I saw this on Facebook today and I knew I was going to write about it at some point in time.  This has been a hard one for me all my Christian life.  I mean doesn't the Bible tell us to love all people just as Jesus did and does?  Jesus ate with the publicans and sinners.  Aren't we to follow His example in all things?  Glad you asked!  Yes, we are to love all people at all times, but some people must be loved from "afar" or at a distance.  There are people that have their minds set that they are the way they want to be and they refuse to change!  If you will notice, when Jesus ate with those who were sinners, by the time the meal was over, they were sinners no more!  They made 'life' changes before Jesus ever left.  One of the most extreme cases I can think of is Zacchaeus in Luke 19: 1-10.  Let us look closely at what this passage says.  

¹AND [Jesus] entered Jericho and was passing through it.
²And there was a man called Zacchaeus, a chief tax collector, and [he was] rich.
³And he was trying to see Jesus, which One He was, but he could not on account of the crowd, because he was small in stature.
⁴So he ran on ahead and climbed up in a sycamore tree in order to see Him, for He was about to pass that way.
⁵And when Jesus reached the place, He looked up and said to him, Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today.
⁶So he hurried and came down, and he received and welcomed Him joyfully.
⁷And when the people saw it, they all ^[a]muttered among themselves and indignantly complained, He has gone in to be the guest of and lodge with a man who is devoted to sin and preeminently a sinner.
⁸So then Zacchaeus stood up and solemnly declared to the Lord, See, Lord, the half of my goods I [now] give [by way of restoration] to the poor, and if I have cheated anyone out of anything, I [now] restore four times as much.^(A)
9And Jesus said to him, Today is [^[b]Messianic and spiritual] salvation come to [all the members of] this household, since Zacchaeus too is a [real spiritual] son of Abraham;
¹⁰For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost. 

Notice Zacchaeus was LOOKING for Jesus!  Notice also it says Zacchaeus RECEIVED AND WELCOMED HIM JOYFULLY!   Yes, we are to minister to those who are not born again.  We must also be friendly toward them, but where I see so many become confused is they think their friendship with someone who is not born again and has no interest in becoming that way is going to influence them to become a Christian.  So many times, it ends up the other way around.  The devoted, born again Christian begins to be pulled down, and instead of lifting up the sinner,  they end up being the one in need as well.  Why?  Because the one they saw that needed Christ so badly refused Him!   God has not sent us out to convince others that Jesus is the Truth, the Way and the Life!  That is the Holy Spirit's job!  He has sent us to PROCLAIM or to TELL that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life!!   He has sent us to plant seed into good ground.  If the ground isn't good the seed will not root.  If it is, the seed will root and will eventually begin to spring forth and abound!  Let me give you another example.  At our church two weeks ago we had a baptismal service.  We have had several get saved in our church and my pastor was following through with what Jesus said we were to do after salvation and that is being baptized as a public profession of our faith.  A man in our church had some special duties that needed to be taken care of before service started that Sunday.  He started to drive to the church and get them done Saturday night, but God spoke to his heart and told him to wait until the next morning.  Early the next morning the man got up, prepared for church, grabbed his keys and made the trip (he lives in another town) to our church.  When he got there he realized he had grabbed the wrong keys!  He had no key to the church.  Now at our church we have what I call a "prayer bench" that sits under a beautiful oak tree.  He decided to sit down on this bench and wait for the first person who had a key.  As he sat there a young man seemed to walk up out of nowhere and went to the church doors and began to try to open them.  The gentleman that goes to my church saw this and asked him if he could help him.  The young man said, "Yes!  Can you tell me how to get saved?  The Lord has been dealing with my heart and told me if I came to this church someone would help me."  Right there in the parking lot our friend led this young man to Jesus Christ!  That very day this young man was one of the ones that was baptized!  The young man WANTED Jesus and he came looking for Him!!  GLORY TO GOD!!!  Notice my friend did not go to a bar, wild party, or any other place a Christian has no business being to seek this young man or any other person out.  The Bible clearly tells us in Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose].  I have heard this scripture many times in my life, but I have NEVER heard anyone quote the second half.  A "friend" can sharpen you to be better OR "to show rage"!  In other words, a "friend" can make you worse!    It matters who you "hang" with.  Why?  Because other people effect us!  This is why Paul wrote these words in 1 Corinthians 5:11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don't even eat with such people.   See where Paul is now including so called "Christian" friends?  Many will say they believe but will not practice what they are supposed to be believing in!  Some people must be loved at a distance and, unfortunately, that can include so called believers.  You will know when people are sincere and are really who they say they are by the "fruit they bear"  because they will to some extent show change!  They will want to read the Bible with you!  They will want to talk about the goodness of God over anything else!  You won't have to beg them to go to church, they will be calling you to see what time it starts!  Are you lonely for the real thing?  Ask God to bring relationships He has for your life!  Ask God to prune away those who don't appreciate the work God is doing in you and has no interest in the future God has destined for you.  They are literally like dead weight holding you back!  If they truly love you and care, they will want to see God's best accomplished in you and will even help you along the way in obtaining it!  They will encourage you to have it!   Their attitude will not be "it is my way or the highway for you".  Some may even say you "dropped" them and didn't show love as the Bible says.  Don't even respond to that criticism.  It will only lead you into speaking ill of another.  To tell you the truth, who God prunes away and who He brings into your life is only between Him and you anyway!  He will set all things right where it really matters!  I heard a minister say once, "I don't worry about those who criticize me.  God told me if they mattered in my life He would work it out.  If they didn't, He wouldn't!"  In other words, the critics don't matter!   God will show them to be in the wrong, but in the meanwhile you just "keep on keeping on" as my mother always says!  God has great things for us, my dear reader!  There is no reason to "try to make it happen" or worry before we see it!  Blessings are coming our way and they are coming in the form of friends that "sticketh closer than a brother".  These friends are more precious than the most expensive gems!  Praise God, He knows who is best for us, and who isn't!   Love always, but remember sometimes loving from afar is for the best!  When God does bring that true friend, watch how that person will stretch you to grow and you will stretch them.   Your paths are destined to cross.  In the meantime, remember not to settle!  Always wait patiently for God's best because it is truly on the way!!