Juliana, the Tigress!

Tomorrow I will take my mother again for Cardiac Rehab.  The first day was Tuesday.  That day I saw a look on my mother's face. It was a look  I had never seen her have  before. The look was uncertainty and vulnerability.  Suddenly, it was as though she was a child and I was her security and protector. It reminded me of when my children started their very first day of school.  I knew it was necessary for them to go, but I wanted to stay right with them to be sure they were treated right and nothing happened to them! This day I had to carry my mother's purse, open doors, latch the dog carrier, bend over and do things for her. The simplest of tasks were now impossible for her.  This made me feel even more compassionate and protective of her.   Thank God we got a sweet, compassionate, and wonderful nurse who would be her cardiac  rehab nurse.  I watched her as she got onto the treadmill at rehab. She looked at me as though to say, "Don't leave me!"   I watched for any sign of pain or distress in her face as she took her first steps. Her nurse was right beside her watching for the same things.  Her arm behind my tiny mother to catch her just in case she made a misstep.  There were only two chairs in Rehab.  One was in front of my mother which would have put my back to her. The other just to her right, which gave me a perfect view of her.  I could see her feet and I could see her face.  A man had been sitting there when we first arrived.  At some point, he got up and left the chair vacant.  I grabbed it!  After a few short minutes he came over to the chair where I was  and looked at me as if to say, "I was sitting there."  I announced to him, not asked mind you, "I have your chair don't I!"  I was a tigress at that point and my mother was my cub!  I would fight this man for this chair,  His effort to regain it would be futile.  He must have seen it in my eyes.  He just looked at me and walked away from me, far away from me.  Smart man!   I watched my mother as she did exactly as she was told.  I caught a glimpse of her as the little girl she had once been but her parents no longer there for her to run to.  I stayed right by her side.  It is now up to me to see to it she knows she has someone to look out for her (of course she has my dad and brother, but they were unable to come that day).   Tomorrow will be easier for us both.  She will know what to expect and will have more confidence in herself to do what is necessary to regain her strength.  Even so, the tigress  will be there in full tigress mode, watching out for my cub, my mother, the one I love with every fiber of my very being!!!